Tears or champagne. you choose

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My oldest child is graduating high school in a few weeks.

As we entered this momentous school year, I was surprised by the deep sense of mourning I felt. His graduation felt like a loss, a milestone marking the end of my active, daily role in his life. I found myself counting off our “lasts” like one pulls petals off a daisy. Last Christmas break, last semester, last soccer season…

Though I never overtly shared my emotions with him, my energy shone loud and clear. My words said, “This is amazing” but my vibe said, “I’m not happy for you.”

It took me weeks to realize how important it was to re-frame this time in our lives. My mindset was dulling the brilliance of this occasion. And mindset is always a choice, something we have total control over. I was choosing to be blue in a season which should be exhilarating for my son.

Sadness or celebration.

Tears or champagne.

I had all the power to decide.

Shopping for his tuxedo offered the opportunity to marvel at the beautiful man he is becoming, inside and out. His broad shoulders stretched the midnight black jacket as pride stretched across my heart. How lucky I am to have a front row seat to his future! While I don’t know what next year will hold for him, I am certain that he will go forth and experience life to its fullest. Then, he’ll come home or call to tell me all about it.

As the date grows ever near, my excitement is bubbling. I am riding a swelling wave of joy as we enter a season steeped in celebration. The next few weeks hold events, ceremonies, and parties—a right of passage for both him and me. As he steps boldly into this next phase of life, I can pause to acknowledge how far we have both come.

As I made the conscious decision to be present and open to enjoying one of life’s bittersweet moments, I began to ponder what other areas of my life are coloured by my mindset and the language I use.

Two phrases which slip out of my mouth on a regular basis are, “I’m tired” and “I’m busy.” While these statements are often so very true, they are also self-fulfilling prophecies, somewhat laced with negativity.

Language is a powerful tool. It influences our mental health, our energy, and our general state of wellbeing. Yet we throw words around like confetti, letting them land haphazardly where they fall. What I have learned in walking towards my son’s graduation is that the words I use become the thought patterns which play over and over in my mind. Therefore, I need to become intentional with how I speak about life’s circumstances.

I’m not saying we need to become happiness robots, because there is nothing more inauthentic or obnoxious. What suggesting is that energy flows where attention goes. If there is even the slightest glimmer of positivity in a situation, that’s where I am going to focus. That will become my reality.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am off to pour myself a glass of champagne and toast my son’s massive accomplishments, bright and shiny future, and my epic fucking emotional transformation.
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Cheers!