things I've said recently

Sometimes I cannot believe the words that fall out of my mouth. They are random, strange, and provide a telling glimpse into the changes I am experiencing as I age. I have to laugh and roll my eyes, finding humour in the brain fog, idiocrasy, and "old lady-ness". 

Things I've said recently:

I bought a pill box today.
Maybe I should consider a nightly skin care routine that actually involves washing my face.
I need to pick up more Metamucil.
I think this is hormonal.
How many supplements do I need to take?
I need to blow-dry my hair standing naked in front of an open window, otherwise I might die of a hot flash.
Are two naps in one day too many?
I can’t read that. Bring it closer.
Is it 9pm yet? I’d like to go to bed.
My B12 is low.
It’s too hot to wear a bra.
When did the part of my brain that could properly park the car stop functioning?
How are my iron levels?
I don’t want to snuggle in bed. I’m so sweaty.
Maybe we should ingest a teaspoon of coconut oil in the mornings. Or apple cider vinegar. Or both.
My brain is not communicating with my body today.
The nurse who was doing my ECG looked like she was trying to untangle Christmas lights.
When should I stop taking birth control?
My hips are tight. I need a massage.
It’s very people-y there…
How late does the concert start? That’s past my bedtime.
 
You know you are getting older when…
​How would you finish the sentence?